Why Do You Care About the Opinions of People Who Hate You?
Currying favor with our enemies is not winsome or effective
"Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation" (1 Peter 2:12).1
Our conduct must be beyond reproach. But, that will not stop wicked fools from accusing us of evil — because righteousness is opposed by demonic liars. Instead, we must expect to be insulted. To be prepared for this you must learn how to handle these false accusations. Beyond that, you must not seek the approval of your enemies. “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). If you want to serve Christ you will say and do counter-cultural things that rub sinful people the wrong way. It is a mark of the faithful to be attacked for the sake of the name of Jesus.
Remember that Jesus told us to embrace being reviled. "Blessed are you, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you" (Matthew 5:11-12). We can even celebrate trials and persecution like Paul and James did. Because Jesus suffered unjustly, we too will suffer as he did.
We must never apologize for doing good. Confronting people with the penalty for sin is one of the best things we can do. And we will get pushback. We must press on. These fools may not realize their error until the End of Days. On the Last Day, they will be confronted by Jesus himself. He will put to rest this slander. In the meantime, we may correct them. "But do this gently and respectfully, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak evil of your good conduct in the Messiah will be ashamed of slandering you" (1 Peter 3:16). Yet our culture has removed the stain of shame and guilt, to encourage sin and depravity. Entire organizations and departments are made to shut down opposition to sin. This has led to a class of folly that is unique in our social media-connected age: Karens, snowflakes, and internet trolls.
Whether we face opposition in homeowners associations, neighborhoods, HR departments, or online — we will be confronted with hatred when we speak the truth and seek to do good. How do we deal with people who despise us? We may “Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes” (Proverbs 26:5). Or, we can ignore them. This has to be an option, because we may choose to “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you are also like him” (Proverbs 26:4). Answering a fool simply depends on the situation, based on their receptivity and the need to reply. These days, in most cases, it makes sense to do the latter and hold your tongue. Jesus said, “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces” (Matthew 7:6).
Let’s take this a step further.
Do you ever avoid saying something true because you are afraid of what someone else might say or do to you? We have been cowed into submissive silence out of the fear of potential hate. This is not endorsing some version of radical candor or intimidation where you walk up to people and dress them down. Preemptive threats are used by anti-Christ Communistic activists to silence anyone who wants to limit their excesses respectfully and within the confines of ethical and legal standards. “Why will you still be struck down? Why will you continue to rebel? The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint.” (Isaiah 1:5). If you are getting hit then at some point you have to change your approach: either improve your defense, fight harder or get out of the game. Biblical self-defense is often warranted. But what you cannot do is pretend that allowing people to destroy you is martyrdom and acceptable.
One of the hardest things to do is accept that you are being attacked. We live in a world where verbal assault and reputation damage are the most common weapons used rather than swords, fists, and guns. Granted weapons may be used to beat people up or kill them. Daily we fight with ideas and against insults more than bullets and strikes. Words often precede action. If you want to see the power of words to inflame violence go to a bar a provoke the biggest guy you see. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can get you in trouble. Many Christians have altered their speech to cater to their enemies. This is a mistake.
Unless you’ve been trained, and exhibit a hyper-vigilance toward threats developed through that training or harsh life experience, you tend to treat the world with an expectation of peace. Everyone has a desire to be liked. But many people give into their jealousy and anger by harassing others. This projection runs rampant in our society - if someone senses that you do not accept or celebrate their brand of sin they exhibit signs of manic hatred. The moment you realize that your enemy is at the gates, or the intruder is in the house, it is too late to question why they are there, or what you could have done to prevent them from taking action. Once a bully has decided to hurt you, you cannot convince them to talk instead. You must gird up your loins and defend yourself. Weakness invites massacre, atrocities, and horrors.
By definition, if someone intentionally harms you, they do not care about your well-being. As Isaiah asked above, what harm must come before you change? He is criticizing the nation of Israel to prompt repentance. One of the principles of Western Civilization legal theory is the right to self-defense. This is woven throughout our legal system, and it stems from a Just War Theory. However, the Christian principle of peacemaking stipulates that it is better to show love than give into hatred. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, because they will be called sons of God” (Matt. 5:9). We can only find peace truthfully, with acknowledgment of sin and salvation from it.
Further, many Christian branches have taken these admonitions to heart but then taken them too far and become pacifists. They further reference the rest of the Sermon on the Mount. “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” (Matthew 5:38-41). This is advice to accept a personal insult and turn down an invitation to fight. A slap is not a debilitating blow, but is it meant to shame someone and provoke further replies. Giving your enemies your clothing, labor, or money is a high bar that we typically do not cross.
Jesus did oppose Satan. He called him "the enemy" (Matthew 13:39) "the evil one" (Matthew 13:38) "The prince of this world" (John 12:31; 14:30) and "a liar," "the father of lies"(John 8:44), and "a murderer" (John 8:44). Jesus resisted Satan “But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” (Matthew 16:23). So evil does not get a pass just because it can be insulting. Jesus occasionally used hyperbolic language to make a point. In the Sermon on the Mount, he raised the standard of personal behavior to drive home the point that we are all sinners.
Many evangelicals, especially liberal churchgoers, have a problem admitting that evil exists. They cannot figure out what to do when they are attacked, and they deny that this attack even happened. This can be confusing, especially for Christians who have a hard time interpreting scripture. Proverbs provided seemingly contradictory statements about responding to fools, but this is resolved by context. Jesus preached that we are not to resist evil people to avoid blood feuds or foment an insurrection. But in further scripture we read, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). So, we do not resist evil people, but we do resist the devil who motivates temptation, sin, and evil people. How exactly does that work?
Liberals think that if they preach anti-bullying in schools then would-be criminals will be reformed before our very eyes. Then, they are shocked when these kids grow up into rapists, robbers, and murderers. Our churches are filled with people who pretend that evil will go away if we simply close our eyes… and pray (kinda). I agree that prayer is powerful and we should embrace spiritual warfare that takes place in the physical world in the hearts of sinners (we are all tempted). As we pray, we are called to live and work for the Kingdom of God. This requires confrontation. And to confront we must accept that we have enemies who need to be confronted. These enemies hate our guts, and we should not expect to win them over with timid weak failure. Instead, we defeat them with the power of the Word of God and free them from the chains of sin through repentance and transformation by the Holy Spirit — and then invite them into fellowship.
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash